Teaching kids self defense is never really about punching and kicking but that is what they are taught right from the first day in class.
For kids to learn anything useful, they first have to listen well – to their teachers, coaches, parents, etc. If they can listen well, they can already avoid half the trouble as well as do better in school. Every kid is already told to listen by everyone but how did that message get lost. Firstly, because it is repeated (or nagged) so many times, a lot of kids mentally block it off. Furthermore, because they are ‘told’ to listen, those that are already challenged in listening never really ‘received’ the message. It is never about just the message but how it is delivered as well. It is very important to find a way to ‘get thru’ to them so that they actively participate and comply.
A lot of us in the teaching role fail to ‘listen’ to our audience as to whether the message get through or not. When children get to the rebellious years, phrases like “How many times have I told you not to do something….”, “You should have….” can trigger the defensive mechanism and you may get the opposite effect. One way communication is not really communication.
The art of listening is more than just hearing the words, it is about understanding the true meaning and context of the words themselves. The following article incorporated humor but there is a certain degree of truth in it – 15 things your wife says what she really means. Just think, how often have you yourself been engage in an argument where both you and the other party are not even talking about the same thing. Therefore, ‘listening’ precedes any other tactic or technical skills.
Sometimes our filtering system cause us to sieve out things in its entirety instead of picking out just what is useful. It is important to have a critical mind but if it is more a defense to your ego, you are not really applying effective ‘listening’.
For us, the word “listen” goes way beyond just using your ears. It includes all your receptive organs including eyes, intuition, understanding, touch, perception, awareness, feeling your own balance, support and much more. As an example, taichi talks about “tian jing” (聽勁) which if translated literally means listen-to-the-force. If you incorporate that as one of the fundamental skill to acquire, you can see why practicing just cardio or conditioning, just throwing punches and kicks or just practicing form cannot by itself lead you to where you may want to go.
Exercise
What is listening to the force? What exactly are we looking for? What else is implied/hinted but not spelled out here.
Due date: 2018-10-21. Penalty applies if not completed.