What is stay loose? What is fast? What is slow? What is sour? What is sweet? Are you rich? There are lots of words that seem to describe what you mean but doesn’t exactly.
Everything is relative. So it is important to set the first reference point. Once you have that as the reference, then try to shift the needle in the direction you want and ask yourself the question, is this different? Is this a better (or more efficient or more something) than your last reference point? If it is not, try again or decide what else is needed to make it better. This constant refinement is how you learn and discover.
To start, simply set a reference point to yourself and compare to your previous reference. Is it going in the right direction? Once you get into this daily incremental improvement mindset, you become self sufficient in the sense that you don’t need others to tell you whether you are doing good or not. You don’t seek approval or try to make someone else happy. You are creating your own path. The drawback of this is that you may be totally off in terms of relevancy to the real world and so you still need an assessment of the situation in relationship to the outside.
You can also use other people as a reference. Are you better or worse? Why can’t you be as good? Is it a matter of preference or is that something that really makes a difference? What is it? In all honesty, you are always compared to someone else, whether it is even intended. For example, when people compete for jobs, the employer are comparing one interviewee against another. Something that doesn’t show well may not mean that it is actually not as good, it is just be presented under the right light AND it happens that the employer values that specific attribute. Something negative against you for one employer may be exactly what another employer is looking for. Don’t despair! You will have your chance to shine.
If we are always comparing ourself to just people around us and be satisfied, then there will be no improvements and new things won’t be invented – you will never be a leader or a trend setter. You have to set a theoretical goal. It does not have to achieveable right away or ever. However, you do believe that it is theoretically possible and is willing to work towards it – one step at a time. Look at Steve Jobs and Elon Musk, they don’t really compare themselves to the competition. They set standards that most think are impossible – they end up blowing past all their competition.
Exercise
Find some good examples of setting references within yourself, setting reference against others and setting a ‘possible’ reference via trend.