When it comes to parenting, the topic can be as hot as religion. There are the parent’s view, the child’s view as well as everybody else’ view. Everyone think that their view is correct.
You all heard of hockey dads and soccer moms that got into fights and shouting matches. There are also parents that try to live their own dreams through their kids. They are parents that want to be their kids’ friend rather than parents. Most think they are doing what is ‘right’ for their kids. If you ever took any psychology course, a lot of issues the people have as adults actually stems from bad parenting practices.
This article is not a how-to parent because I may not be any better. All of you are of different age groups and so the ‘hows’ may not be directly relevant. This article is about seeing through controversies and still be able to see the good points from ‘the other side’.
Read the following article and some of its discussions:
http://growingleaders.com/blog/what-parents-should-say-as-their-kids-perform/. The following are a few of the comments made in the discussion section:
- “hard for me to just sit and watch without saying anything especially when I know they can do better…”
- “When I complained about my coach wanting me to play in a summer B-Ball league, my Mom just asked, ‘Do you want to be as good as you can be?’ I grumbled and worked half as hard as I should have. And so did my team…I still regret that.”
- “What happened to teaching children that if you want to succeed you need to work hard at it? Scores do matter”
- “The youth sports that give out medals for all athletes who participate are failing our children. Telling them that they don’t have to try.”
- “if your kid is a competitive athlete they are getting ALL the feedback they need from their coach, teammates, and own results. They do not need a parent layering on top of what is already an intensely competitive environment.”
- “At least Contey67 is an involved parent and not absent like so many others.”
Exercise
This is not about switching parents if they are not ‘up-to-your-standards’ – criticizing and ‘wishing otherwise’ is not productive. This is about knowing WHAT you need (or your parents or child or girls friend, etc), communicating properly and finding some better HOWs to move forward so that history doesn’t repeat itself.
Pick anything controversial to you that is close to your heart (from the article or your personal experience) that goes against your grain. However, I want you to try to see the merits of the other side. Sometimes a good intent may go totally wrong during execution and how a slightly modified approach would have worked.
(For the new students, this weekly blog comes out on Sunday evenings. It is not about having a RIGHT answer. It is about going through the thinking process and writing it down. Either email your thoughts or Facebook message me.)