Chinese idiom – Rather be the mouth of chicken than the behind of a cow
(寧為雞口，不為牛後)
– Would you rather be the head of a small growth company or a middle manager of a large corporation?
– Would you rather be the top or be at the bottom of your class?
It is the start of another season for gymnastics as well as for school. I call September the month of transitions. Everyone face decisions like this for yourself or for your child every now and then. For children, some needs a gentle nudge forward because of they lack self confidence. Those that constantly live under the shadow of others may need some positive reinforcements – the satisfaction that they can be as good as if not better than others. Some just need an extra year to build confidence or to solidify their foundations. In kung fu class, we are starting to get some new students, believe me, it can be intimidating for them – new approaches, new partners, everybody else is so much bigger and stronger, etc.
The right answer depends on the person and the situation. Questions that need to be asked (substitute ‘you’ with ‘your child’ if appropriate):
- Does one feel inspired by the challenge or are you dreading it? Can you change the interpretation of stress to be an impetus for motivation to change / improve?
- A healthy dose of stress is good – that is how muscles respond to exercises and it applies to your brain as well. However, too-much-too-soon can cause physical and mental damages.
- Is the decision on the longer term benefits or just out of convenience or short term benefits. For example, a short term salary boost or where your friends are. Or just because it is easier to just drop off both siblings at the same class rather than what suits each best.
- Is one committed to make it work or just ‘give it a try’? Every decision has its pros and cons. If you are planning to back off at the first discomfort or challenge, then you are not mentally ready for it yet.
- Are you getting too comfortable staying behind for the right reason? During the first 30 years of your life, if you are not ready to take controlled risks, you will never discover your true potential.
Preparations:
- You should feel comfortable to make mistakes and be able to learn from it. An environment where you have to be perfect or be at the top of your game each and every minute does not encourage innovation. We need to foster a supportive environment.
- It is not what you know now but how well you adapt to new situations. Having good learning skills and the willingness / preparedness to learn and adapt is very important. Adaptation is a skill that can improve and be refined through training. Adaptation cannot be left to chances but must be made part of class training objective.
- Wearing different hats will get you to understand things from different perspective (for example, as trainer / trainee / performer / audience).
- Have a monitoring / feedback system. You should watch for signs that something is not working.
- Right support and rest are required. Muscle gets fatigue when they are stimulated constantly. For kids, parent’s interest and support makes a huge difference. For adults, find ways to switch-off from work and responsibilities is just as important as being able to switch on.
- Right amount of independence, be a good listener and observer. You can learn from top, sideways, bottom as well as from least expected sources. If you learn to be confident and yet humble, you have allowed yourself to open-ended learning.
- Be able to see your own worth in the team / environment – what are you bring to the table? Being able to see your own limitations and yet feel confident about your own contribution makes work so much more enjoyable.
Exercise
- Relate the above to your own experiences. Quote one such experience and the outcome.
- Think ahead where you are face with similar situation?